Ending 25 Years of Fear

I was 12 or 13, and I vividly remember making the decision to never again sing or perform music publicly. Music was not to be for me.

I know now why I made that decision. I was afraid. Afraid to be judged, afraid to be vulnerable, and afraid to show my innermost core to the world. That decision has haunted me for 25 years, and I have since then kept trying to find the courage to express myself musically. I’ve worked for artists, created music apps and made repeated attempts to find my own musical path.

Jealousy is said to be a projection of your own untapped potential, and for me, that meant many years feeling jealous of artists and musicians. Something within me has always wanted to write music and sing, but that suffocating fear has been holding me back – until now.

I unknowingly embarked on a spiritual journey when I arrived at my first Burning Man in 2014. The sacred desert and the real human beings who inhabit it, broke down barriers within me. Since then, it has been a wild journey down the rabbit hole and into the very deepest point of both myself and existence. I’ve been forced to embrace my inner demons, face the truth, and start acting from it in every moment. It has allowed me to overcome my fear of death, and also my fear of sharing my truth through music.

A painful transformation loop that started when I was just a kid has now come full circle. I regret nothing. I am deeply grateful for those 25 years of fear. It taught me how to be true – in my actions, in my words and in my music.

Thank you for reading this, for listening to my music, and for writing your own story as well as mine. Thank you, for allowing me to be Plural of Nothing.

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